Why Calacanis Should Not Be Allowed to Speak at Conferences

Should I be taking this flamebait? No, probably not. But as promised last time I did, these are going to be few and far between. And I’ve kept that promise. Sometimes a guy just needs to rant on a soapbox for a bit. I have fought the urge to do a post like this in the past, so we’re going to see how this turns out. Eventually will I stop burning bridges on this blog? Probably. But not yet.




Introduction

Jason Calacanis is the incessant troll of the affiliate marketing/SEO world. He is an astounding marketer himself. He is very bright, and very good at creating an environment beneficial to his product. Lately, that product has been Mahalo. Jason has been speaking at various affiliate marketing conferences, talking about how evil/crappy/pathetic the SEO and IM industries are, and how we’re destroying the internet. Since Mahalo is a “human edited” search engine (read: a web directory with a search bar), it is in theory “immune” to spam.



So Why, for the Love of God, do we keep giving Jason Calacanis Keynotes?

Normally, I would complain about people mentioning him when he said whatever he said. But apparently that just doesn’t matter. People are going to hire him to speak anyways. So I’ve decided to go to an alternate route.

I am going to state the following, and adhere to it the best I can. Any who agree with me, feel free to take the same statement, and make it your own. Twitter it, post it to your own blog, or send it to the people that are running the conferences.

“I will not buy a conference pass that will ‘allow’ me to see Jason speak. It’s not just that I won’t attend him speaking. I will not actually purchase a ticket that would even make it possible.”



Edit: I’m seeing a lot now about having “alternate views” at conferences. If someone wants to put a qualified SEO up who disagrees with me, and even agrees with Calacanis, that’s fine. But at least then it’s someone who is a part of the industry(Jason himself says he’s not an SEO), and probably won’t just use the keynote as an infomercial.



Why Jason Should Not be Allowed to Speak at Affiliate or SEO Conferences



He’s Not Relevant - He is admittedly NOT an SEO. Or an affiliate marketer. Why don’t we just bring in the founder of Burger King while we’re at it? Or wait, I think Hugh Hefner might have some openings in his schedule. Playboy has a website, right? Does Kanye West?

His Method of Marketing is Not Relevant - Ok. So Mahalo is by no means a success yet. And that is with him rambling about it anywhere that will let him speak. That is his entire marketing method it would appear. I cannot do that. If anyone else in the audience were to somehow get a keynote speech, and chose to ramble about some service they launched all the time, they would not be speaking again.

So what am I supposed to learn from him?

How to advertise a site once I already have millions in funding, have hundreds of connections, and name recognition coming out my hindquarters? That’s a real challenge guys.

Don’t get me wrong, all this uproar and such is a brilliant means of marketing. Or at least very effective. But there’s nothing to be learned from it. But if it weren’t for that, no one would know, or give a shit about Mahalo.

All he’s doing is spamming the crowd trying to build up press for Mahalo - I’m sadly aiding his effort with this entry. But I would go so far as comparing paying to go to a conference where he’s speaking to if it cost $400 to ring a doorbell. I suppose people would be more willing to grit their teeth and listen to whatever religious cause was on the other side of the door a lot more easily(if they weren’t screaming obscenities) Because damn, it’s costing me money. So I might as well try and get my money worth and just hope something constructive will be said.

It’s worse than internet advertising, because you pay to be spammed.

You Can Get Your “Buzz” From Somewhere Constructive - That’s right folks. It is possible. I lose a little bit of respect for each conference when I hear about him speaking there. You want controversy? There’s plenty of people that can inspire controversy and be constructive. Shit, try a blackhat on and watch the blogs flare up. Let them talk about the future of SEO. Not into blackhat? Try someone constructive. I would trade half a pound flesh to listen to Diorex speak at a keynote. Get people that people will be excited to get information from. People with real future thought. Not people who are going to criticize not even because of legitimate sentiment, but rather because they they went to slut out their product.

His entire “Make a Great Site Instead of Affiliate Sites” Speech is Bullshit - We do make great sites, but we don’t all have the flexibility wait months or years for something to profit….read below for the rest of this tangent.

Countering Calacanis

Ok, so first, here is the formula for a Calacanis keynote: Profession_Here is spamming the web+Profession_Here is evil+Mahalo will fix this because of XYZ+Can’t you all just make something useful?



We do make useful sites. We make sites with good information. But the things he talks about really require venture capital, or saved up funds to live off of while awaiting magical success. We can’t afford to wait months(or years) for a site to profit like Mahalo.

These are statements you will see spoken almost only by someone with the good fortune to fall into the internet “industry” in 1996 when you could pretty much get venture capital for heading off to the shitter for a moment. After all, who knows, that shit may look like Elvis and be worth billions. (though granted, his successes did appear after 1996, he already had the contacts to make this happen)



For reference, I was 8 years old when venture capital was falling from the sky. Nowadays, I have a credit line of approximately $3000 with my Venture capitalist, and his name is American Express.

I’m (barely) 20 years old, and I got average grades in school. Rewind time to before I was at all known in SEO/internet marketing, and had none of the success I could now at least put on a resume.

So now imagine me walking into the office of these VC billionaires, pitching an idea.

Me: “Ok guys. So I want to make this search engine.”

Them: “Like Google?”

Me: “No, I’m going to have a bunch of employees making pages for it, and finding the links”

Them: “Like Wikipedia? But you pay editors instead of getting free ones? Or is it like a web directory?”

Me: “No man, it’d like…be searchable”

Them: “Why do you want to do this?”

Me: “Because like..all these guys are making websites with the idea of making money..and it makes the web nasty”

Them: “So wait. You want to get VC to put an end to people making money? But we want to make money! How old are you again?”

******Silence******



I’m really impressed with some stuff Jason has made. Really, I am. But it’s time for everyone to acknowledge that if he did not get into this business when he did, and have an early success, he would not be getting any of this funding. I’m sorry, but most people in this industry making the “thin affiliate” sites cannot afford to lose even $100 per day, nonetheless the thousands Mahalo loses as it develops. And I’m sorry but quite frankly, eventually I get shit tired of Ramen Noodles.



So what’s a marketer to do? I’ll tell you what. Market. And market their ass off.

A lot of my sites are of high quality. But here’s the catch. I’m writing the content. I’m doing the design(for better or worse). I’m coding the backend. I’m managing the financials. And more than that, I’m running it on my own Credit.

I have 30 Days to Be Turning a Profit, and I’m going to be doing whatever the hell is within my abilities to do to make sure that happens.





Ugh. I’m getting more incoherrent, so I’m going to call it a day on this entry.



Burning Bridges Like It’s the Cedar Village Riots,

XMCP